Anger Management
The last time I wrote was when my daughter was 7 months old!! Man has time flown by! She is now a couple of months over 2! She's sitting in my lap eating a popsicle now.
I've learned so much from her and from God about myself.
For awhile I had tried to find the healing of my heart my own way. I tried to make things fit that I knew weren't right and didn't align with God's word. I wanted my worth to be healed my own way. I kept comparing myself to others and that only brought me to a dark place. I still struggle with that and other wounds that I'm trusting God to heal now.
Recently, a lesson I learned started with the children in my classroom who have struggled with appropriately dealing with their anger. I tell them to breathe and say a silly word like "goosefraba" while rubbing their earlobes (this strategy is used in Adam Sandler's movie anger management) because you seriously cannot stay mad while doing something so ridiculously goofy! Well one day I told a student also that he needed to control his anger before it controlled him. Meanwhile, I'm asking God why second graders have lives so hard that they have become so angry and why did He put them in my class.
Fast forward to last weekend.
Anabel's (my two year old) dad was visiting her and had a cold. He felt horrible but I basically thought he was being a little dramatic about it. Anabel was playing with her blocks in the living room and talking to her dad seeking his attention and approval. There her dad sat in the recliner with his headphones on.
Here's my thought process as this dialogue unfolded:
Anabel- Daddy look at my blocks!
Daddy-uh huh
***would you please just look at her***
Anabel- Daddy look!
Daddy- go play with your blocks
***i mean just look at her and give her attention! You don't even have to get up!***
Anabel-Daddy look outside!
Daddy- *ignores her*
Me- Anthony
***my dad ignored me when I wanted his attention and you aren't doing that to my daughter ***
Daddy- *ignores me*
Me- Anthony
Daddy- What?! (Makes a face and jumps at me)
***i know you did not just do that!***
So I picked up Anabel and took her to her room and told her to put her shoes and jacket on and that we were going outside. I went back to the living room and cleaned up her blocks and put them in a bag and threw them against the wall. Anthony looks up and asks if we are fighting. ***well of course we are but I haven't communicated anything to you so I need you to read my mind***
Anyway he did end up playing ball with her outside and I ended up explaining what happened. I was remembering how my dad treated me when I was younger and took out my anger on him. Now neither of us is perfect but that doesn't give me a free pass to act out on my anger. If I would have just communicated, it wouldn't have gone as far as it did. God has been showing me that I need to give my wounds to Him so that He can heal me, instead of taking things into my own hands!
James 1:19-21
19Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20Human angerg does not produce the righteousnessh God desires. 21So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
I've learned so much from her and from God about myself.
For awhile I had tried to find the healing of my heart my own way. I tried to make things fit that I knew weren't right and didn't align with God's word. I wanted my worth to be healed my own way. I kept comparing myself to others and that only brought me to a dark place. I still struggle with that and other wounds that I'm trusting God to heal now.
Recently, a lesson I learned started with the children in my classroom who have struggled with appropriately dealing with their anger. I tell them to breathe and say a silly word like "goosefraba" while rubbing their earlobes (this strategy is used in Adam Sandler's movie anger management) because you seriously cannot stay mad while doing something so ridiculously goofy! Well one day I told a student also that he needed to control his anger before it controlled him. Meanwhile, I'm asking God why second graders have lives so hard that they have become so angry and why did He put them in my class.
Fast forward to last weekend.
Anabel's (my two year old) dad was visiting her and had a cold. He felt horrible but I basically thought he was being a little dramatic about it. Anabel was playing with her blocks in the living room and talking to her dad seeking his attention and approval. There her dad sat in the recliner with his headphones on.
Here's my thought process as this dialogue unfolded:
Anabel- Daddy look at my blocks!
Daddy-uh huh
***would you please just look at her***
Anabel- Daddy look!
Daddy- go play with your blocks
***i mean just look at her and give her attention! You don't even have to get up!***
Anabel-Daddy look outside!
Daddy- *ignores her*
Me- Anthony
***my dad ignored me when I wanted his attention and you aren't doing that to my daughter ***
Daddy- *ignores me*
Me- Anthony
Daddy- What?! (Makes a face and jumps at me)
***i know you did not just do that!***
So I picked up Anabel and took her to her room and told her to put her shoes and jacket on and that we were going outside. I went back to the living room and cleaned up her blocks and put them in a bag and threw them against the wall. Anthony looks up and asks if we are fighting. ***well of course we are but I haven't communicated anything to you so I need you to read my mind***
Anyway he did end up playing ball with her outside and I ended up explaining what happened. I was remembering how my dad treated me when I was younger and took out my anger on him. Now neither of us is perfect but that doesn't give me a free pass to act out on my anger. If I would have just communicated, it wouldn't have gone as far as it did. God has been showing me that I need to give my wounds to Him so that He can heal me, instead of taking things into my own hands!
James 1:19-21
19Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20Human angerg does not produce the righteousnessh God desires. 21So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
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